There isn't much that will get me to wear a suit, but Monday and Tuesday found me in Atlanta, in my funeral suit, mediating a large, convoluted case for the fourth time. Nope in this case, the third time was not the charm, the fourth time, either. I just love getting up at 3 am to fly out on lost causes like this one, but in the end, I always find little slices of life to keep myself amused...
Fun stuff, like the fact that they were supposed to be doing blasting right outside the conference room tht they planted me in. "Oh, dont worry, the'll fire off a horn first then you can go to the window and watch!" NOT! I've handled far too many blasting fiasco's for that! If I had heard that horn, I was planning to exit, stage left in a hurry. Me, plate glass, and dynamite would not be a good combination.
I did get to see the gay (?), transvestite (?), male hooker in a wedding dres out that window though. Life on Peachtree is apparently quite interesting. Kinda have to wonder how many of the boys in the corner offices were trying to make that bride blush?
Riding back to the airport on the MARTA on the full train was interesting as well. Two young ladies got on and proceeded to clock me with a bag of stuff. Then one of them just about hit the ground and shielded herself for the punch that she knew was coming. Sorry honey, lover here, not a fighter. When she calmed down I found out that she and her friend were on their way to some kind of probation, rehab, anger management, self-improvement class that they were court ordered to attend in lieu of jail. They apparently hate that place as the counselor talks too much and are planning on taking her out. Yep, I draw the weird ones like flies.
Once at the airport, I missed getting on an earlier flight and had several hours to kill. I camped out at the gate to read for awhile. (rule number one, always carry a good book.) At the gate, I got to see a middle-aged white guy have a total melt down when he missed his connection. I guess he forgot rule number one and chose to put on the entertainment for the morning instead. The show got so good that I had to call Cliff to give him the blow by blow as he stomped, threw luggage, cussed, banged on the glass to try to get the pilot to return to the terminal, etc... They finally got him sequestered in a room somewhere, and I suspect that he spent the day in the company of the boys at Homeland Security.
So if you get stuck in an airport after a lost cause meeting, remember to bring a book. Then you too will have time to enjoy the shows around you!
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