Saturday, March 8, 2008

Hip Saga Part Deux

So yesterday I go to the hospital to get my hip MRA, which necessitates a day off work. (I came in early anyway.) When I get to MRI registration the lady looks at me and says "They just called about you." Phrases like this are usually followed by something bad, and she was bound and determined not to disapppoint... "You are only scheduled for the Arthrogram, not an MRI."

This was followed by a half hour round and round the bunny field conversation that had me doing my best yoga breathing. Me, "Uh, I have a copy of the order that was faxed to you and it clearly shows that they asked for the arthrogram, and then the MRI." Her, "Thats not what they asked for when they called in." Me, "They didn't call in, they faxed over the order, here it is." Me, "Mam, I appreciate how hard your job is, but I have what they faxed to you, the arthogram means nothing without the MRI, I need that MRI today, who should I talk to so we can clear this up..." Round and round and round and round.

Finally someone else came out, said, "Hey, we'll just reschedule some things and it will all be fine. " I was on my best behaviour. I almost stuck my tongue out at the scheduling woman, but I didn't. I won, I could be gracious in victory.

When I finally got back for the arthrogram, the radiologist came in and tried the talking to me to calm me down thing. I'm usually really good about stuff. I figure the ole bod is just a huge hunk of meat, and getting thru stuff with as little muss and fuss is the way to go. Yep, up until he stabbed me with that big ass needle with no warning. I kicked him in the head. Bam!

I really think that medical people should have to spend a week with a large animal vet. I'm serious. I used to give shots, sew critters up, etc... and there are certain ways that you do things. Giving a shot to a nervous 1400 lb horse? You talk to them. I was also very fond of the tap, tap method of giving shots... As you are talking to them, just tap, tap the place you are going to give a shot in with your index finger. Tap, tap, shot. It takes all the surprise out of the equation and everyone comes out more or less intact. (Unless it was gelding day, and then someone would come out with the ultimate equipment change.)

Needless to say, after kicking the nice radiologist in the head they got two xray techs to hold me down. I probably wouldn't have kicked him again, honest...

So I now have a week to worry about the MRI before the next Ortho appointment. I talked my way into looking at the scans, and in my untrained opinion they look pretty good. I usually look for what is NOT supposed to be there, you know, the irregularities that would suggest bad stuff.

So everyone keep your fingers crossed. No tears, no tears, no tears.

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