Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Taunting the Tiger

There are some things that look like a lot of fun when you are stoned. Face it, thats why the Darwin Awards were created. You know how it goes... Geez man, I'm bored. You bored, I'm bored. Hey, I know, lets get really drunk and stoned and go down to the zoo and jerk off at the tigers! Cool!
And so we have it folks, next year's Darwin Award winner in the bag. Nothing like having one of the better members of our society gleefully take himself out of the gene pool so that the population can evolve in a more productive manner.
I thought of this because I have Netflix and the movie I was watching while I was slogging away on the trainer last night was, The Darwin Awards. It was so bad that I was thinking of all the other brilliant people who have taken themselves out. Of course, our heroes have already had kids they haven't taken themselves out of the gene pool, and are only eligible for an honorary mention.
Some of my favorites from my job: The two kids who decided to have sex in one of those blow up balloons- I guess hearing yourself moan in a high voice is a turn on. Well, maybe until you go into a coma from anoxia. Imagine the grins and giggles when the maintenance staff finds you the next day. Or the guy who decided to take a propane torch to the gas truck hitch when a bolt was stuck. I still have the pictures of that one in my desk as I couldn't have them imaged in to my file as the file girls have sensitive stomachs.
James laughs at me when I tell him that I don't go in the ocean. (play the music from Jaws here. ) I also don't stand on rocks on the edges of cliffs so that I can look down. When you do my job, you see the "oh, shit!" moments that some of the other people experience. Unfortunately the award that most people get is a bonus check from a jury to their families! (That kid with the tiger... yeah,his family is set.)
So as you are thinking about some of the shoots and ladder jumps this icy winter, remember that while some people will look at your sorry tangled body and say, "Gnarly, dude!," someone else will be passing the photos around laughing our butts off at your creative way to improve the gene pool!

1 comment:

gwadzilla said...

people are stupid

I am lucky to be alive